Day 77 - Environment

Day 77 - Environment

Some times my environment gets cluttered, my office, our kitchen, etc.

Especially having 2 little kids, full time running my business, forgetting to eat meals going full on

Having a stay at home wife who makes nearly everything at home

It all can accumulate and there is 'consequence' in the environment. Not in a 'bad' way or a 'good' way, but I see that my environment has had an influence on me, my clarity. Some times when things are dirty I notice myself go into a state of blame and subtle backchat.

I see how it can affect my clarity. And this is not the best relationship with my environment. Thus self-forgiveness.

I forgive myself that I had accepted and allowed myself to base my clarity on my environment 

I forgive myself that I had not accepted and allowed myself to realize that my inner clarity comes from my walking of my process, my writing, my rebuilding of my vocabulary, my clarity within on who I am and what I need to do daily, regardless of my environment on the outside

I forgive myself that I had accepted and allowed myself to not realize that the environment can play a factor and there is a common sense equilibrium to hit where I can take small 1+1 accumulative steps to clean up my room, my home, and to practice the principle of prevention to not make extra problems

I forgive myself that I had accepted and allowed myself to participate in blame toward my wife when I notice there is a mess in the house, instead of realizing that I can contribute and be a +1, no backchat or blame needed.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to take my wife for granted that she does the dishes 90% of the time, and to not realize the moments I can step in and help with it where it's practical and I can help

I forgive myself that I had not accepted and allowed myself to realize that my memories from childhood of my environment are still influencing me to this day, and within this I forgive myself that i have not accepted and allowed myself to pin point and place into words the exact memories of clutter, reaction to environment and to thus be able to purify these memories and create an automatic life-giving environment here

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to let clutter accumulate in my home in certain areas and only to move myself when it gets so bad that it's an impediment in me moving/doing thing with a reasonable pace, and within this I forgive myself that I had not accepted and allowed myself to realize that perfection CAN look like having dishes in the sink, it doesn't mean everything is 'flawless' as I realize there is a space time reality to navigate and there are priorities more important than the environment YET its simple enough that as I walk this self forgiveness here real time I can see obviously there are moments in my day where I can walk past something, pick it up, move it forward, and stay in a state of constant progression thus having this ripple out into all of reality as Self-Responsibility in action

I forgive myself that I had accepted and allowed myself to hyper fixate on organization and perfection, then also let clutter accumulate, playing the polarity game instead of realizing the best for all balance as the path of self-responsibility  to respect my environment both external and internal, and to stay in motion as when I am moving physically there is no room for my mind to run rampant, its a physical movement that is able to be evidence of how much I can do in a day

I forgive myself that I had accepted and allowed myself to not see the obvious that certain areas like dishes, the kitchen, my bedroom, the laundry room, all of these are my wife's responsibility yet as I can see, and practice the principle of 'give as I would like to receive' I can make genuine progress here, free her up as well to be a better mom and support in our community, and thus I can be for giving and thus perpetuate the flywheel of effective life-giving that we are creating, and that looks like small actions daily when in my self-honesty I realize it can be done

I realize that my environment is a reflection of me, and as I change the outside it can support the change inside

I realize that my inner state will reflect in my environment - thus I have 2 ways I can always make progress to clear up myself, clearing the inner world and also cleaning up the outer world, in the little moments that normally I would neglect, I can use them to stack up the 'positive' accumulation of having a life-giving environment

I realize that a hyper fixation on organization is not needed

I realize that a neglect of objects and thus accumulation of clutter is also not needed

I commit myself to take daily actions where practical to help the environment move forward, to create space for the new and to honor my environment as I honor my inner and external reality

I commit myself to remind myself of my purpose - to change the system - is intertwined with having my own home in order, and the home being in order doesn't mean its 'flawless' rather the coordination of our family, all working together, all maintaining progress in our process and becoming the best we can be, this is the real meaning of keeping our house in order, and perfecting our environment

Now to go help Jess catch up on the dishes in between phone calls where I am out sharing/giving to people to help them actually start this process and change their lives and be agents of change in the world.