Day 69 - The Playfulness Hack

Day 69 - The Playfulness Hack

This one is life changing when you realize it for yourself

I have noticed my wife Jessica and I our relationship has changed already from applying this

So I'll write this in the context of your relationship with your significant other, but it can be extrapolated out to any relationship

Last week on Friday night we were on the Self-Perfected Hangout. On the calls I have a responsibility to help share and connect with people as I'm one of the co-founders of the group.

Also though - its at the end of the day, my kids want to see me. Every time I go in the kitchen my son Xander wants to be picked up.

So I'll be on the zoom call, super focused, then I walk in to get water or some food and then he's crying and wants me to pick him up.

So I noticed in that moment I pick him up, I'm distracted, I can't really support him in that moment. So I walk up to Jessica and said 'you gotta take him'

I said it in a tone that was direct, it was also from a point of 'you do it, I'm not gonna 'deal with this' right now' that kind of vibe

And she was in the middle of unloading the dishwasher, so she didn't reply right away.

I was impatient so I said again - 'Hey Jess I need you to confirm that you can take him I'm on the call'... and after what to ME felt like forever, and to Jess was the next moment, she said yeah sure I can take him

I noticed a reaction in me, this whole character of 'You gotta reply faster to me! Can't you see i'm doing something important? He is our son, I can't nurture him right now, you should listen to me' That was the whole 'inner backchat' character lol

And later, Jessica and I discussed it, where from her perspective she was thinking 'yeah I heard you, I just had to put the dishes away, but also that tone you used was not fun at all it was like you just wanted to pass him off to me, so I wasn't fully thrilled to just drop what I was doing - that I know is also important.'

So in that moment we both decided that there is a WAYYYYYY better way to do this. Shout out Jess she came up with it

She said 'well what if you in that moment you need to pass him off.... what if you said something like Hey sexy mama, I have this handsome boy that needs some care and attention, incoming!! and then playfully pass him over to me? 

That way its fun for her, our son Xander will think its awesome, and for ME as the man, its a chance for me to be flexible instead of so stern and thinking 'I need to just get this over with so I can do my more 'important' stuff' lol

So we implemented it right away

And the results have been wonderful

The first time it was a similar situation, and within myself I was about to just hand him off and then I remember - oh yeah make it playful and I said something like 'I have a handsome boy here who needs a beautiful mom to hold him! Here he is' and I said it in a playful voice, it was awesome. Jess literally said 'wowwww!!! yes come here!'

She said 'its like you put a spell on me and I couldn't escape' 

Now of course we're playing... but this is the power of words and expression

So we named it the Playfulness Hack

And we notice other times in our day where there's something either mundane, or something that is more 'serious' like we must talk about planning how we clean up our property to prepare for winter

And in these moments we sometimes have memories accumulated, like last year we left out some of our garden supplies/rakes/shovels and they got ruined over winter. And so its this 'point' of contention where we had neglected our responsibilities in the past, judged ourselves over it, and then now its a point of where we can break through the 'time loop' and not do the same thing again.

So Jess brings this up to me, and there's a little bit of contention in it, she wants to convey that its serious - which I agree with. But for me, at 10 pm at night after I've had a 'long day' and I am almost asleep, my 'mind' defaults to - Jess lets just talk about it later when we can do something about it.

Those little moments - where its important, it matters to come to a solution, and there's an energetic charge to it, and there's 2 differing view points... this is a tinder-box that in any other relationship can explode into a fight

But in that moment, because Jess and I have done so much work on ourselves, and we're united in agreement/principle, it was a fun moment where we both caught it, we started laughing. We are like 'ok wow look at us getting all serious about the fact our shovels were buried under the leaves and it started to snow. 

Yes its still an important matter... but the playfulness hack is what actually will get us to resolve it.. not just being all 'serious' about it because it drains the fun, it turns it into an activity thats not life giving, and we just treat it like necessary responsibility drudgery.

So the playfulness hack is this = in the moment where you want to be serious and get a point across to your partner, be flexible in your expression, say it in a new way, have fun with it. Still get the point across - but in this way it actually lands and inspires action, and it becomes a fun 'level up' in your relationship that opens up entirely new dynamics.

Test it out today

Day 68 - Dad Life

My son has hit the level where he can properly interact with me. He can hold a conversation and say things that are thought provoking for me.

For example we drove to the store and he was asking me what is an avenue and what is a street. What's the difference. Why is it named 'Texas Avenue'?

I realized in that moment how grateful I am for my life, for my wife, for us using TechnoTutor with him so he has such an extensive vocabulary at age 3. So much goodness has come into my life and I need to share this with more people

I forgive myself that I had accepted and allowed myself to hold back in sharing these tools of self forgiveness and TechnoTutor with more people

I forgive myself that I had accepted and allowed myself to take the fact that some times people don't want to use these tools, and with the fact of sometimes being rejected in my sharing, to extrapolate that onto future conversations I have

I forgive myself that I had not accepted and allowed myself to realize that as I am living dad life, this great gift is a series of moments, and to not rush the perfection of this

I forgive myself that I had accepted and allowed myself to create a pattern within myself of thinking 'some day in the future' that something will be different, and thus I 'look forward' to that day at the expense of the moment

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to not realize that every single parent can get on board with this philosophy, of raising genius kids, they just need to be explained this in a way that the story 'clicks' for them

I forgive myself that I had accepted and allowed myself to not push harder with people, to really live the word CARE, and say what needs to be said, so that if I were the kid, of the parent that I speak with, that kid has a chance to experience an outstanding childhood through being able to develop rapidly, to have a full extensive vocabulary, a superior memory and the ability and confidence to learn anything

I forgive myself that I had accepted and allowed myself to define 'dad life' as my pre-programmed memories of what my childhood and my dad was like, and while I did have a great childhood, I didn't have a fully effective education - and now I see/realize and understand that a fully effective education for a dad and their kid IS what dad life is really about

I forgive myself that I had accepted and allowed myself to not realize that within 'dad life' is the word LIFE, the living principle that is within everything - and to be a living example as a dad as life, this is who I am and who I can be a catalyst for - all of the dads here and now, and the dads to come in the future, to show a new level of whats possible

I realize that 'dad life' has been corrupted by our culture to be a limited word instead of a living word

I realize that an essential piece of my purpose is to show what LIFE looks like as a dad and to pull in as many dads as possible to share this realization

I realize that the little moments of speaking with my son, of explaining the world to him, all of this is building the inner architecture of my son and his worldview where he will be able to influence reality at an even greater level than me - as he progresses in his life

I realize that any dad out there who cares about their kids, will be open minded enough to hear me out, and I must do everything in my power to get in front of them and share this

I commit myself to do every thing in my power to share what Dad Life can be

I commit myself to enjoy the journey of dad life, enjoyment meaning a full focus and expression of being a dad, being a living example, and supporting my son to be the best he can be, which includes being an example and sharing with others of what's possible for kids

I commit myself to showcase the other dads and kids in our community to show what's possible

I commit myself to outpace the AI/automation virus that is spreading in our world, where people see AI as a god, when its not, its a reflection of our minds... Yet AI is not that great. What is great is a Human Being with an effective vocabulary and living principles, THIS is the real trend that matters, that I commit myself to get out to the world and make it obvious that this form of parenting and raising kids is superior to the AI trend we see now. Genius children working together as life within the principle of oneness and equality, this is the real deal. This is my living commitment

Day 67 - The Rite of Passage

Day 67 - The Rite of Passage

Read the self forgiveness out loud 

Yesterday I forgot to add - and it fits in perfectly...

As a boy becomes a man, there is a decision they make as to who they are, who they will be and how they will act.

And upon the decision being made, life will then reformat itself in accordance with this new decision and intention. And within this - situations will arise that can appear like a test, to see if you will walk through it or if you will fall and go back to 'boyhood' ignorance.

A man will WELCOME the test.

(and this is really for anyone, man or woman, but yesterday I was specifically writing about men being 'raised up' will need to make the decision that they will live from a new code of conduct and welcome the test to thus prove they will live it)

And so this is the brief story of how I had to use a cinderblock to decapitate a rooster yesterday.

Interesting enough... the point on being kind vs. being nice.

An example I often give when asked about 'kind vs. nice' is if you have an injured animal you know is gonna die. What is the kind thing to do? 

The 'nice' person lets it suffer. They cower/hesitate/avoid. The 'kind' thing is to face the point and put it out of its misery.

So I walked out in the evening to do the chicken chores, and I notice one of my roosters looked dead on the ground. Looks like he defended the hens from a predator, which I am grateful for.

I go up to him with a shovel to pick him up and toss him in the back woods.

I notice in that moment he is still flinching.

I think 'damn... I gotta take this guy out'

For a moment I contemplate how to do it. I got a shovel, I have my gun in the house.. I decide the best move is I have a cinder block right there, so I do it swiftly. 

That moment was not pleasant. But if I were that rooster, and I were there in agony, I would want a swift exit like what I delivered. 

And that is an example of me doing the kind thing.

It was an example of me as who I have become, a man that wasn't raised to do this sort of thing, but this is who I have built myself to be. 

I've learned to build myself from scratch, one moment at a time, the little decisions accumulate. 

And I've engineered an environment around me with our homestead and our local responsibilities - the best environment, where I have tests every day.

And to be clear - I see some people abuse the idea of 'tests', they constantly feel like they need to prove they can 'pass a test'. That is idiotic. I am referring to the fact that when a decision is made truly, the world reshapes around this, its resonance and intention. So AS this new decision, I will walk it thoroughly, and if I need to prove something, such as that I will do the kind thing even if its unpleasant or inconvenient, of course I'll prove it and do it.

Homestead living has shown me that, there will be tests all over. Who will I be in the test? - this is what matters.

Now of course ideally that wouldn't have happened, where I had to kill the rooster - but that coyote or fox also has to eat and it came after our flock. 

So there's a common sense equilibrium here that has to be reached. 

My goal is minimize suffering and ensure the animals can thrive for as long as they live, and to also live my life in a way where I can make the maximum impact in the collective world system, because my job is not to sit and watch my chickens all day. 

Being a man is being able to see all of this and make decisions.

For me as a kid - I was not raised to understand responsibility fully. I didn't have the vocabulary and comprehension to see the value of this for myself. Not blaming my parents, it literally wasn't possible without the tools. 

I wish I had a 'rite of passage' of some sort. But this is something I have had to gift to myself over and over. The living of my decision to be a man, and as a result of this decision, the opportunities arise where I will have the test, and thus I can prove I can pass the test.

And this leads me into my blog which is the rite of passage

I'm just gonna go in on the self-forgiveness as this is needed:

I forgive myself that I had accepted and allowed myself to not realize the rite of passage is essential for a man to walk through - its essential because at a certain point one must decide for oneself who one will be - its a decision one makes and as any real decision it will be tested in reality

I forgive myself that I had accepted and allowed myself to not realize the word passage is the passing from one state to another, the previous state is who one was born as and the programming given to them, yet on an individual level one must decide who they will be

I forgive myself that I had accepted and allowed myself to believe that a 'rite of passage' must be some 'big deal' like in cultures where the boy must go do a difficult task or go on a quest. In reality the rite = right, comes from the same root as the word right meaning to take something that is incorrect and make it correct - this is the journey to life one must undertake as themselves, for themselves and for all 

And passage is a passing from one state to another. So this ultimately is the transition from being a consciousness robot, programmed from the environment, to taking the decision to stand as a set of principles. 

I forgive myself that I had accepted and allowed myself to fantasize about a 'rite of passage' needing to be a high energy experience, like the ancient mystery schools or the rituals in a secret society, thinking that one must have an initiation and get all the 'secrets' - in reality what is needed is the decision to change, the tools to sustain the change, and the verification of the change so one can truly be a +1 to society

I commit myself to create the change in the culture so the rite of passage is adopted, where each young adult can be aware of this process, to go from being a programmed human that has accepted their worldview, to a conscious decision to be a creator, to be aligned with the principles 

I commit myself to within myself welcome the tests, to enjoy the tests, as each time I make a decision to take on more responsibility I will prove to myself what I can handle

I commit myself to change the culture to one of honor and respect where the respect is based in the living principles, the rite of passage is for a boy to prove himself as a man where he honors and lives in a verifiable way - that he lives the principles

I commit myself to do my best to make everything right, meaning the best it can be, and to stop at nothing 

Day 66 - What Does It Mean to Be a Man? (Part 3 - Conclusion)

Day 66 - What Does It Mean to Be a Man? (Part 3 - Conclusion)

Upon the past 2 days of writing on 'what it means to be a man' I had a few more insights to bring this point to completion

I am part of a men's group called the Self-Leaders Club and we have a mastermind discussion every 2 weeks. 

If you are a man who wants to be held to a higher standard, to be a leader in the world and bring about the change we need, hit me up I'll teach you how you can join.

On this discussion I got feedback the past 2 blogs helped a lot of the guys

Also as I heard this, it became evident there are 3 other points to bring through, and I will give context for each

1 - Niceness is a disease, Kindness is the cure

2 - A real man honors their agreements that are built on principle

3 - Self-Trust as equals is what emerges as the backbone of the new world

Now point by point

1 - Niceness is a disease, Kindness is the cure

Yesterday I was at our local mastermind group. My colleague Pedro and I have run this group for 5+ years. He does an excellent job running the main discussion and we utilize the group as a way to unite the people who want to change their lives, and align their 'success' with real purpose

In the discussion, Pedro was bringing through the 'cost' of being nice, of avoiding conflict, of not actually confronting the things in your life.

He asked a question that made me stop and ponder ... and I've been looking at it all weekend. He asked 'what has your niceness cost you'?

I was raised to 'be nice'.

I am from Minnesota, where we literally have a phrase called 'Minnesota Nice' its where people are pleasant, even if it means they'll be in silent despair, but they'll say 'hey I'm doing great'.

What I realized is that niceness has cost me massively. Not just money (even though I would likely have made over $1M more at least in my journey as an entrepreneur if I had been more direct) but really it has cost me relationships, where I would not actually SERVE the person by telling them the KIND thing.

For example = nice is when you don't tell someone they have bad breath. Kind is when you call it out (with tact and candor of course, because you actually care about the outcome, not just making the other person react)

So as I had been reflecting on this over the weekend, the phrase popped in my mind. Nice is a disease. Kindness is the cure.

Niceness is caring more about your own feelings and how you are perceived... where KINDNESS is the cure - meaning it is the word that when it is LIVED - you can support others for real, unconditionally

And thus the living commitment emerged in me of Kindness - at a whole new level. And the realization that a MAN is KIND. A boy will hide behind 'being nice' to play a charade. Fuck that. Its selfish and against what I stand for.

I can be respectful, and help the other person actually change - by being KIND and saying what needs to be said. Because if I were the other, that's what I would want.

Thus - a Man is Kind.

Point 2 - A real man honors their agreements that are built on principle

I heard the phrase today from my other colleague Borys, on our Self-Leaders call, quoting our other colleague Avery with the true statement that - a boy can only turn into a man when they are in a committed partnership.

I agree 100%

It may hurt, but hey - refer to point 1 about kindness.

If you are a single guy, you can only go so far alone, and you can only go so far by 'dating around' and being a playboy. You don't have anything REAL to commit to long term.

I have noticed with my wife, since being married and having our relationship built on agreement of principle that there is an intimacy that develops, where you have trust, you can share feedback faster, you can learn and iterate faster, and you build together. It allows you to see your own bullshit faster, and is a practice ground for HOW you will show up in the world.

So thus point 2 - a MAN honors his agreements. And in order to have that, you need the agreement in order to honor it

This is backed up by yet another point I saw this weekend, I was listening to a podcast on John D. Rockefeller. I do not look 'up' to this man, but I see he was an effective entrepreneur in the system and I do live by the principle of 'investigate all and keep what is best'.

Rockefeller said that the measure of a true man is one who honors his contracts/covenants.

There is something to this that we had lost in the modern world.

Now days where people can post bullshit online, leave some rage bait comments, talk shit online, there is a lack of HONOR in our culture. This creeps in where now people make commitments and don't honor them.

We say 'i'll be at the party' and then don't even show up, or even TEXT to say 'hey I can't make it'.

We have lost the value of our word

And that is detrimental to society and each of us.

Because think about it - if I make an agreement with my friend, or even with myself to say - I will be at the gym tomorrow at 9 am. Then I don't show up... I literally broke my word, my bond, my agreement.

Then at the same time I could say something like 'this year I will make $1M in my business'. 

On a resonant level, and even on a conscious level, how the fuck am I supposed to be able to take that goal seriously when I can't even get to the gym on time?

And don't even get me started on showing up late. Its so normal for our culture to say 'I will be there at 1 pm. Then show up late. Not even acknowledge it. This corrodes self-trust and trust between us...

So - A real man will honor their agreements.

Point 3 - 3 - Self-Trust as equals is what emerges as the backbone of the new world

Let's look at the word backbone - 

We are all each individual parts of our collective body/being as humanity

For example - imagine my heart didn't trust my brain, didn't trust my liver to 'do its thing'. I would be dead fast.

There is a mutual trust that must emerge.  But it doesn't come from 'blindly' trusting another

It comes from each of us trusting ourselves, having our operating principles, and then over time accumulating trust, and all of the benefits of this.

When a man does each of these (from my blog yesterday and today)

- Provides in the best way

- Protects in the best way

- Is KIND and doesn't succumb to niceness

- Honors his agreements, based in principle (specifically these principles, not the ray dalio bullshit system principles)

- And develops self-trust

This is a man.

This is a man I will be able to work with, to walk side by side, as we create the backbone of the new world. 

We are the skeleton/structure/foundation of the world.

Imagine the MAN/MASCULINE is the structure of the home. We keep what's inside safe. We weather any storm. We are always here. Always present.

The FEMALE/FEMININE is the energy within the home. It makes it a nice place to be, a place that is nurturing.

Ever been in a single guys apartment? There's a mattress, maybe a desk... MAYBE 1 picture on the wall. Its simple.

When a woman is involved, its nice. There's nice couches, a blanket, some decorations.

We need both.

But this blog is specifically to make it clear - this is what a man is - how I see it and for all to see.

There is one bonus step I'll address...

It's called the 'Rite of Passage'

In cultures around the world, forever - there has been known the phrase.

Women grow up, men must be raised up.

Women naturally mature

Men must have some form of decision within them, where they transition from boy to man.

I'm not advocating we need to bring back some Agoge shit from 300 or a lion hunt in the wild.

It's simple, its a declaration to walk the journey to life, to live the principles and to welcome the test that comes with it. Life is intelligent, we ARE life. 

Life has a way of testing us - as ourselves. Sounds 'meta' but its not. Its us as life proving to ourselves we are the living words we say we are. We are sentenced by our sentences. 

So the 'rite of passage' is this undertaking, where one can thus 'visibly live the principles' and be an effective member of our world as their role as a man.

I will elaborate more tomorrow

Bonus - the rite of passage (will elaborate more tomorrow)

Day 65 - What Does It Mean to Be a Man (Part 2)

Continued from yesterday...

Being a man is to provide and protect - in the best way for ALL

It requires common sense and creativity in the approach

Let's open up the point

I forgive myself that i had accepted and allowed myself to believe that being a man means I can harm and kill anything that is a threat, and that is the ultimate trump card by which I can win and prove I am a man

I forgive myself that I had accepted and allowed myself to believe that being a man means I am stoic, and show no emotion, only stability in my expression and never show any weakness whatsoever

Within this I forgive myself that I had not accepted and allowed myself to realize that it does make sense to be CLEAR when I do share and when I do speak, it doesn't mean I need to 'pretend' I have it all figured out, but its a blend of humility in the obvious fact that I am a human walking my journey to be the best I can be, and so of course there will be steps along the way where I fail, trip and then have to figure it out, and also though, to be a leader, to trust myself and to guide the way in the best way I see how and to build systems around this so that together we can learn faster, and ensure we have outcomes that are best for all 

I forgive myself that I had accepted and allowed myself to belive that a man must look a certain way

I forgive myself that I had accepted and allowed myself to believe that a man must speak in a certain way

I forgive myself that I had not accepted and allowed myself to realize that being a man - and the human male design, is such that in its best expression is one that is able to focus, to step up and get shit done, and to act in a way that allows for oneself AND for all, to be provided for and protected. This requires strength, wisdom and willingness to take the necessary actions

I forgive myself that I had accepted and allowed myself to believe that provide means to just care about myself and my bloodline only, where I provide resources to ensure my self, my partner, my kids and my immediate tribe are cared for only... while this does make sense that this obviously needs to be taken care of, only stopping here creates the stupid tribal mentality that has locked us into a techno-feudal state currently in the dynamic of human history, where we are tribes built on identity, enslaving ourselves into a technocratic super system that mines our energy and wellbeing for profit in the hands of a few individuals and corporations - and a REAL man will see this and step up, and do their best to figure out how the hell we can change this system, and dedicate themselves to creating a BETTER solution every single day instead of accepting this mediocre version of reality we have trapped ourselves into

I forgive myself that I had accepted and allowed myself to believe that providing is JUST about money and resources, instead of seeing that providing is also about being present, supporting people, taking the time to invest my focus into the right points in the system of change, so that I can push points and move people forward, and to also have the self awareness to see where I am stuck, and to ask for help - Providing is more than resources, it is the intentional use of my attention and others attention so we can collectively change our agreements, our standards and thus act in a way where self-responsibility is fully undertaken and thus we can hold a new system in place where the outcomes are one that honors life and ensures everyone has their needs covered, and the education needed to go beyond just basic human survival and actually create the coolest reality possible - as a man I am the structure to help hold this in place so we can change the world, one person, one system at a time

I forgive myself that I had accepted and allowed myself to not realize that the word protector has been abused in our society, glorifying the military and violent aspects of it - instead of realizing that a protector is an educated man, who knows how to play the game of the system, understands the implications that we are in a reality where there is abuse, where there are unstable adults and there is a need to have common sense and not just trust any random stranger, yet within this to not live in fear rather to be proactive and focus on what is worthwhile to focus on. For example I could spend 5 hours a day training how to use my guns, how to win in a fist fight, so that if i'm at the mall and someone attacks me I could theoretically win. I could waste my entire life training for that and thus co-creating that... OR I could dedicate my time every day to educate myself and educate others, to build our vocabulary to actually change our way of seeing, to put people into place where they can take responsibility for systems and processes to ensure that our kids are being raised in a way where they don't want to abuse people, where they actually CONSIDER what is best for all.. So that me as a man as a protector, I am part of the transition team. Going from a system slave, to a leader in the system, so eventually we can have a system where we don't need leaders, we just need self-leaders, ones able to work together in equality to make decisions and create outcomes that honor all life

I forgive myself that I had accepted and allowed myself to glorify men in the system who I think look bad ass, or they act in a certain way or make a certain amount of money, and to think 'wow they are so skilled I want to be like them' yet not seeing all the fortune they made on the backs of an unequal system. Take Jeff Bezos or Elon Musk for example - one could say 'wow those men have really figured out how to crush it, make billions and create 'world changing technology' yet the fact is, Jeff Bezos has millions of people he is responsible for, and ultimately is automating the majority of them with robots. He HAS to - he is playing the game in the system. If he doesn't, someone else will. The old system is a lose-lose. A real man will now SEE this, not go into pity over how fucked it is. Rather just breathe and step the fuck up and say - I will be part of the solution. And then honestly get involved in it. Not just 'be aware' its a problem. But actually MAN UP and be part of the change

I forgive myself that i had accepted and allowed myself to not realize that my actions I take every day have an impact on the people around me, the actions I take AND the actions I leave undone. And this accumulates in my life. Will I be proud of the man I become? Or will I have regret?
I know which decision I have made.

I realize the world needs a entire new level of MAN stepping forth

I realize there is already a group of us doing this, and our group is figuring out how to get extremely effective at this

I realize our kids are going to be a key part of the system change

I realize that education and changing vocabulary at the unconscious level -  is the most powerful tool of human evolution

I realize that as a man my role is to provide and protect life - and to share this vision and express myself to the best of my ability every day

I commit myself to show what's possible for men

I commit myself to challenge men when they have no purpose, or a detrimental purpose, to be that influence in their life to call them up to their highest potential

I commit myself to stand in the shoes of all people and things, to not hate the people who play the game and profit off abuse, as hate is not a solution, rather to create solutions where the new system we build makes the old one obsolete

I commit myself to be an example of what the best version of a man can be, and to welcome every step along the way as this is what I was born to do

Day 64 - What Does it Mean to Be a Man?

Day 64 - Be a Man

I have had this conversation with many men recently - what does it mean to be a man?

What does a man do? 

What does a man NOT do?

One of the guys in particular is quite young, he is 18 and we were speaking about this because he shares a vision where one day he will have a wife, kids, would like a homestead, genuinely wants to make a difference in the world. 

He brought up how when he was a kid he was very expressive, he would show his emotions, he would be loud, and the adults around him would say comments like 'that's not how a boy/man should act'. He asked me what is my perspective on this.

I told him that expressiveness has nothing to do with being an effective man or not

To be clear - by expressive I mean:

The ability to get 'out' what you have on the inside, the ability to articulate who you are, your thoughts, words, ideas, vision, and to get that out 'unimpeded'

Its the OPPOSITE of being suppressed, in your head, holding back, hesitant.

Expressiveness is a great trait, and everyone should have this. Not everyone has the right tools to be able to change this because it has to do with physical programming in the body, but that's for another post.

Ultimately I told him - his expression can come through and its a great trait he has IF he is living these 2 words

1 - Provide

2 - Protect

And I don't mean this in the 'system' sense where one just tries to provide money for ones family at all costs. I've seen people around me do this and its disgusting, they get into selling shit programs, selling people on fantasies of how much money they can make, all backed up by nothing real. Its done as a 'win at all costs' strategy, just so they can help themselves and their families be provided for. That is NOT what I mean by provide

and for Protect - I have also seen this in a twisted form. Where one becomes so obsessed with protecting themselves and their family. They will learn martial arts, self defense, they will go all out with an obsession to 'stay alive' and 'survive' but it clouds the bigger picture of what it means to protect humanity as a whole, from ourselves and from our consequence.

So when I say a MAN is one who can provide and protect, I mean this in its ultimate form/expression

One who can provide and care for themselves, their family AND the world - a win-win-win

And one who can protect - themselves, their family AND the world/future generations to come.

So day 65 will be the self-forgiveness on this to elaborate on what makes sense and to dismantle the stupid ass ideas we got from hollywood and thousands of generations of programming that was just based on self-interest and survive at all costs, which has created a world where we can't trust our neighbor, where we poison the environment and the average person is a brainwashed consumer zombie slave.

A real man will step up and change this. Read on to the next day to reprogram yourself to comprehend this

Day 63 - Upgrade

 I have upgraded from the recent event I wrote about in day 62

I can see my level of clarity, I can see further. I also see collectively where the others are at who are walking this journey alongside me

Part of my recent upgrade was also a physical 'letting go' of the past

When I got home from the event I ended up hitting 'a wall' so to speak, and was drained and then puked a ton lol

It was not pleasant, but I've learned to trust my body

I see the upgrade to my resonance, that requires physically releasing old ways of thinking/feeling/being

So I welcome it

I forgive myself that I had accepted and allowed myself to react to getting sick

I forgive myself that I had not accepted and allowed myself to realize my body is intelligent and if it is processing out old substance through the form of puking for example - to trust this process

I forgive myself that I had accepted and allowed myself to believe that if I am sick, then I need to feel bad and activate an entire 'pity' character so I can lay in bed all day and not do the shit that still needs to get done

I forgive myself that I had accepted and allowed myself to not realize that for example writing this blog itself - real time we placing these words onto digital paper, this is me proving to myself I am willing to take responsibility regardless of how I feel

I forgive myself that I had accepted and allowed myself to not realize that to purge the old does require a physical shift, whether it be as extreme as puking, or just sounding self forgiveness, or letting myself stretch and move, all of my programming IS held in my physical body and so as I walk this journey - releasing the old, I will make sure I honor my body as a temple that I can purge the old and welcome the new

I forgive myself that I had accepted and allowed myself to fear upgrading too quickly, out of a fear of feeling bad and feeling pain - that is the weakness I am expelling here

I realize that there is a new level of strength emerging from me as I continue to stay consistent in my writing, in my application of myself, and in my intentional pushing of myself to find my best expression

I realize that getting sick and releasing the old is an opportunity to upgrade my ability to take responsibility

I realize that I am grateful for my body's intelligence to remove the old

I commit myself to welcome the upgrades

I commit myself to show that I don't need to suffer, rather I can expand and welcome whatever comes onto my path

I commit myself to honor the fact I can stand up, breathe and direct myself no matter how I feel

I commit myself to honor the upgrades and to live and anchor in the new mode of being, where I express myself in the best way possible in each moment so I am ready for the big moments of shifting as well

Day 62 - Texas Ranch Insights

 This past week we drove down to Texas

I don’t necessarily hve self forgiveness to write, more just insights into process overall

In Texas we had the TechnoTutor Texas Ranch Reunion 2025

I’ve been there each year for the past 5 years since the beginning and it keeps getting better and better

More people standing up clearly in their lives

More new faces coming in of people who GET IT - they see that the education system on the planet needs to be updated

And more couples, more kids, more harmony of everyone getting along and moving themselves

It was the highlight of my year so far

Seeing my kids surrounded by other kids and adults who genuinely care, who have a ton of fun, and who will ‘go home’ from the vacation clear on what it takes to build a worldwide movement of renegade educators, ensuring every kid can be a princilped genius

On the way we drove 14 hours in a sprinter van, it was legendary status

The word ‘grace’ kept coming up.

It was our first time going in a sprinter van, packing for an airbnb that had ~15 people in it

Lots of learning

Lots of cool moments to see where we would get triggered or go into a reaction, and then real time walking through it

Learning more in 5 days than it would be in 5 months without this trip

And then the event itself, got to see my wife ride a horse, my son ride a pony, have deep chats til 3 am around the fire. 

Overall I am grateful

And my commitment is to grow this community

And to help each of us - and everyone in the world - to advance in our journey of creating the world system to be best for all

This is the groundwork, and the growth - I’m excited to share this vision with more people and change the world.

Day 61 - Blame = Be Lame

Blame = Be Lame

I forgive myself that I had accepted and allowed myself to not realize blame = be lame

I forgive myself that I had accepted and allowed myself to disempower myself in a moment by going into blame and not seeing it

I forgive myself that I had not accepted and allowed myself to challenge myself to hunt down every single point of blame within me, where I accept and allow this weakness, in direct AND indirect ways where I go into blaming instead of taking self-responsibility 

I forgive myself that I had accepted and allowed myself - to from the beginning of time as me - to live within separation of myself, not seeing the inner equality in every single aspect of my life. For example - I see my fellow human being, I see us as separate - when in reality we are made of the same substance, inherently equal

Within this I forgive myself that I had accepted and allowed myself to become lame/impotent in my separation, where I approach my relationships from my limited perspective thinking I’m just ‘me’ instead of realizing its a ‘we’ as US, and when we have true coordination between us - this creates a synergy of what’s possible when we work together. If I can stay focused on GIVING and creating - rather than trying to just ‘get by’ so ‘I can be good’ there is infinitely more possiblities for life to come through

I forgive myself that I had accepted and allowed myself to react to when my wife/significant other asks me to do something for her - where I am already ‘in the zone’ focused on what I want to focus on, she interrupts my focus with something important, and immediately I go into annoyance (BLAME) as the root of this.. I see myself unequal to her, like I don’t need to do it, I try and ‘get out’ of doing it, and overall fuck our relationship over … and these little patterns accumulate

I forgive myself that i had not accepted and allowed msyelf to realize the fundamental reason the giving/creating dynamic as self-responsibility - this is possible BECAUSE our relationship is built on agreement - thus the ultimate ANTIDONE to ‘B-Lame’ 

I forgive myself that I had not accepted and allowed myself to realize that as I eradicate blame - like the cancerous pattern it is - I free up more mental, physical and energetic capabilites to physcially support myself to create a wondrous life - walking together as equals - because my focus is on What can I GIVE not just ‘what can I get’ and in the giving, and in the setting up and 1+1 automating and accumulating this, over time this accumulates into a magnificent life that is orders of magnitude superior to the life where I just try and care about myself - thus the b-lameful living is obviously inferior to the living as agreement as both taking self-responsibility to the fullest

I forgive myself that i had not accepted and allowed myself to realize that there is trust that needs to build which is actually self-trust and the effective communication as equals, becasue there is the fear of ‘what if I give and they take advantage’ - again - BLAME. Blaming the other for not speaking up instead of self taking self responsibility to take the step, to be for-giving, and as this - to effectively support my partner to reciprocate and create the mastermind as the principle of two or more in the name of life

I forgive myself that I had accepted and allowed myself to associate blame with a feeling of superiority as if I can be the victim I am thus special and ‘you owe me’ and ‘I am oppressed’ by you, thus I will wallow in my pity to make you feel bad and make me special —— ultimately fucking over both of us and all involved and all things that stem from us — this is a ‘rotten fruit’ that will create impotent seeds…

Instead of the - Living Realization here as follows

I realize that the seeds that come forth from me and my partner as self-responsibility as self for GIVENESS as our living principle - this creates millions of seeds that will bear millions of more seeds. It is truly life-giving, but blame is the poison that blocks it

I realize self-forgiveness is the solution to blame

I realize that blame can be converted to self-responsibility and sharing, as the more I can share my self, my perspective, my communication will be able to create the roots within the relationship that allows for the flourishing. Communicating helps, isolating does not help

I realize that being in pity, acting as a victim, is a cancer to my life, and I commit myself to eradicate every last point of blame, pity and inequality where I believe I’m special and ‘greater’ and ‘entitled to feel some type of way’

I commit myself to show that I can be an example of what’s possible to 100% live self-responsbility for the rest of my life, and to show what’s possible when one is giving for real - then as this, cultivate a network and community where this is the norm and change the culture - as the culture allows us to cultivate the seeds of the new world

I commit myself to notice every point of blame that comes up - to get to the root of why its there, to forgive it and live to the commitment of self-responsibility

I commit myself to challenge the others playing the blame game, help them see the limitation - through asking questions, through sharing stories and fundamentally supporting them - as CARE. As if I just let them participate in their blame game and be lame, its me also holding on to a point of ‘blame’ that ‘they should just figure it out on their own’… They won’t. I am able to plant seeds. I will plant the seeds. This is the seeds we need to create the new world 

I commit myself to show that responsibility feels better than blame, in the moment it may be easier to blame but ultimately creates consequence… responsibility requires self forgiveness and intentional will power - YET over time this becomes automated as part of me as who I am and thus I resonate self-responsibility and its automatic.. and my world reshapes around me

The more we do this - the more we create the world we want to see

Drop the b-lame

Don’t be lame

Time we take self-responsibility, change the game

And change what life means - so we can change the world

Day 60 - Firm in Principles, Flexible in Expression

Day 60 - Firm in Principles, Flexible in Expression

Note - read the self-forgiveness out loud

Within everything I post about in this blog it all comes back to principles - the fundamental living words I operate from

Yet within this there is a helpful phrase

"Be firm if your principles but flexible in your expression"

For example - sometimes self-responsibility is getting my jacket on, going into harsh cold weather and going and caring for our outdoor animals with my homestead life.

Sometimes, self-responsibility is intentionally setting aside 2 hours with my wife to re-watch Lord of the Rings 

The principle remains, who I am within it remains, but the expression of the principle can look different. Self-honesty is the guide.

More practically, I am preparing for a trip this week to go to Texas. 

Within this, it involves 6+ adults and 3 kids all riding together in a sprinter van for 14 hours each way. It's going to be phenomenal, team bonding, a lot of fun. Also though, there will be moments where I may need to be full-on, consoling a kid, helping entertain the kids, or supporting someone in the journey down to Texas

This will require my ability to be flexible.

Its so easy to be 'rigid' and just be 'short' or 'on edge', stressed out, forgetting to breathe. All the lame system characters.

So my wife and I have made the agreement to live the phrase 'United We Stand' on this trip, and support each other even if its crazy and the kids need us to do some advanced techniques to support them.

Yet in this - self forgiveness is my guide:

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to associate travel with stress

I forgive myself that I had accepted and allowed myself to participate in the character of 'rushing' when it comes to packing, planning and undertaking a trip

I forgive myself that I had accepted and allowed myself to not realize that being flexible in my expression is like me becoming a child again, able to go with the flow, to express myself and not hold myself back in a limited way

I forgive myself that I had accepted and allowed myself to disempower myself with holding onto the thinking pattern of 'I need to worry and plan ahead and try and control everything' in this trip. instead of realizing self-direction is living the principle of self-perfection within this experience, and this is a way for me to live Principled Living and welcome the next level of my self-responsibility and abilities

I forgive myself that I had accepted and allowed myself to be rigid in my expression where I feel like I need to be serious in order to make sure we are all cared for and provided for, when me being serious really isn't that fun to be around - thus I commit myself to be expressive, to experiment with new ways of communicating, of providing and caring for my family, and to use the fact of being in new environments, being around new friends and old friends, all as a mirror and support network to help me unleash my best self

I forgive myself that I had accepted and allowed myself to participate in overthinking, and thus become rigid and not flexible in my expression

I forgive myself that I had accepted and allowed myself to see the packing as a burden, the travel as a burden, and only want to experience the 'highs' of the travel and event, instead of each moment breath by breath

I forgive myself that I had accepted and allowed myself to associate flexibility with having a flexible body, which for much of my life I was very tense and rigid, and would abuse my body through sports and work outs without properly stretching and caring for my muscles and tendons, within this I forgive myself that i had not accepted and allowed myself to realize that the same way I care for myself by proactively forgiving myself, directing myself, expressing myself - AS this is a habit I have, I can take the same care for my body, for my flexibility and ultimately support my body as my temple so I can be in peak condition to help show up fully ME with everyone around me

I realize that my principles are clear - and my ways to express them are many - yet the guide through this whole process is breath and self-honesty

I realize that being flexible in my expression will sometimes FEEL uncomfortable and I can use this as a reference point to express and break through

I realize that I can be the source of influence, I don't need my kids or others around me to have an effect on me, I can be the cause and this can support all others around me to stabilize and thus as a group we level up

I commit myself to show that I can be flexible in my expression

I commit myself to recognize when I am flexible in my expression and especially when it works, to accumulate these new effective ways of behaving and being

I commit myself to use my breath to stabilize me in each moment

I commit myself to enjoy this travel

I commit myself to show my kids and those around me what is possible, being a principled human being that is able to create the best in any situation whatever arises